If you May!

It’s been years
and you’ve bought the belief that
you’ve now grown up.

Because your age is a number
making progress every year
like it had, forever since;
but now it makes you wonder if
every additional year is equal to two!

You look at their picture,
him holding her,
and you wonder,
if it makes her feel the same way it did
when she caressed your arm
gently, like a feather,
silently assuring you of her feelings.
You wonder!

Looking at his picture,
him looking at her,
in a way you doubt he’d ever looked at you.
The smile on his face assuring
he’s perfectly happy,
with this woman,
who’s not you.
Makes you wonder!

Silently, looking back at all those years,
you’re doubting the heat and the chills.
You’re doubting their will!
Like I’m here, but why oh why!
You look for her in every woman,
who wears her mascara a little too dark.
You look for him, in men with blue shirts,
Maybe this is how they found them?
Does he love her, you ask.
Did he love me?
Does she hold his hand while they talk,
Or was it just me!

Not more than a moment has passed
since the time she left you.
You feel the burning
just the same.
Like closure was not closure
for you,
when he said, “It’s over!”
it yet was not over
for you.

No hun,
they looked for you no more.
This must ring a bell!
It breaks your heart a li’l,
but I’m here to tell,
that you loved her
and you loved him
quite well!

But look at the calendar,
the seasons changed.
over and over
for five long years!
And the clock ticking
every passing moment
insisted,
to give you back new,
of what it took from you.
One baby step at a time,
won’t you take as the spring takes?
There are Roses, Pansies, Tulips,
Dying little deaths, every day!
The garden will be made beautiful,
only for you,
But not unless you have prepared for it,
One more time!

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5 thoughts on “If you May!

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